Learning to Linger

Slow down, you move too fast, you’ve got to make the morning last. Just kickin’ down the cobble-stones, lookin’ for fun and feelin’ groovy. – Simon and Garfunkel (59th St. Bridge Song)

Oh life’s little lessons are sometimes so hard to learn…and lingering for me is one of them. I’m what one might call a triple A personality. Always something to do, someplace to go and my list dictates my day. Now you would think that would have changed when I left my corporate job. I had all intentions on changing that. No commitments – wishy, washy schedule would keep me free and easy. Not so.

In fact, shortly after I retired – one of my dear friends and colleagues said to me, “Linda, you need to learn the art of lingering.” Surely, this wouldn’t be that hard to tackle.

lin⋅ger

–verb (used without object)

1.	to remain or stay on in a place longer than is usual or expected, as if from reluctance to leave: We lingered awhile after the party.

2.	to remain alive; continue or persist, although gradually dying, ceasing, disappearing, etc.: She lingered a few months after the heart attack. Such practices still linger among the older natives.

3.	to dwell in contemplation, thought, or enjoyment: to linger over the beauty of a painting.

4.	to be tardy in action; delay; dawdle: to linger in discharging one’s duties.

5.	to walk slowly; saunter along.

Any one who knows me knows that “slow and dawdle” are not in my DNA. The day I was born a tornado hit the hospital and I’ve been spinning since then. A little over a year ago,  I went into my boss’s office to quit – I explain that my intention was to “stop the craziness. Get off the treadmill and live life.” She smiled and said, “I know you. It’s only a matter of time before you find another treadmill.” And as much as I hate to admit it – she was right.

Today I mourn the fact that I didn’t allow myself to linger with a special lady when I had the chance. I was helping our local leadership organization video some of our community leaders and Barbara was one of them. I knew Barbara from the social sidelines. I knew she was a terrific woman, but never had a chance to get up close and personal with her.

Barbara was ill and could not drive to the video shoot. She got a ride and asked if I could drive her home. I said yes and looked forward to getting to know her better. After a morning of shooting video, Barbara wanted to take me to lunch to thank me for the ride home. Barbara was magnetic. Everywhere she went – her eyes lit up, the hugs started – and everyone was her instant friend. Being at lunch with her, I felt the heavens open up and all this energy pour down on the both of us.  She was weak and I had to help her to her table but when she grabbed my arm to pray over lunch, I felt her strength of spirit and faith. I’m not a particularly religious person – but I felt something that moment…and still can feel it when I’m still.

After lunch, we drove to Barbara’s condo and in the car she was chatting on about living on a lake. Living on a lake myself – we shared many stories. She kept telling me that she had to share something special with me. We arrived at her condo and as she was opening it up – she was full of life and energy as she was building up the momentum of sharing her special secret with me.

She was practically dancing outside as she took me to the dock of her association and there before me were all these pontoons boats docked. She kept teasing me asking me to guess what one was hers. There was one there that really stood out but I was afraid to comment on it in case hers was the one next to it. As it turned out – there it was – laid out pontoon boat in black and tan with all the extras. Barbara’s boat.

I started to check my watch thinking that I need to get home. My to do list was coming into my head. Barbara pulls off all the covers on her boat for she wants me to see it in its full glory. She’s cranking up the sound system for she wants me to hear her special song that she always pulls out of the dock with. The to do list is getting louder. I tell Barbara that I only have a few more minutes to stay. She said, “Linda, you have to hear my special song.”

It was a glorious sunny day and I could have seen Barbara and I cruising around the lake…talking, soaking in the sunshine, learning about each other. The to-do list won out. I told Barbara after I heard the song, I would have to go and tend to my list…but I would be back to go around the lake with her. Just call me and we’ll set a time.

Once I got home, I sent her an e-mail telling her how much I appreciated the time together and hoped to see her soon. In the meantime, if she needed anything….call. Her response back was:

MS. LINDA -

YOU WERE THE BLESSING!
I AM FINDING THAT, IF I LISTEN TO THE QUIET VOICE WITHIN ME,
I WILL HAVE THE MOST INCREDIBLE EXPERIENCES!  I LOVED OUR
TIME TOGETHER AND HATED FOR IT TO END.  WE WILL DO IT AGAIN
SOON.

THANKS, AGAIN, FOR ‘VOLUNTEERING’ TO BRING ME HOME.  I WAS
REALLY STUCK FOR A RIDE. …

MUCH LOVE TO YOU, MS. LINDA,
MS. B

Seeing Ms. B again never happened as she passed away last week.

For the rest of my life, I will regret not lingering with Barbara that afternoon…but am thankful for the time we did spend together.